My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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