i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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