You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
