Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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