it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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