I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's the barista slut.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
