Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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