he thought i was a dude.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
