The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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