If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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