I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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