i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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