you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
