You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do herpes really smell.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
