There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
