Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
