well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
