this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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