i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
