wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
