I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
