Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
NoShamevember. You game?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
