is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm always down for nudity.
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