I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
