party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
