Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
