Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
