Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
