that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
