So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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