READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
