Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
