Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
