so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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