i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
