She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
