i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
