I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
BRING THE BAGELS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
