dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
