she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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