woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All I want is dick and wine.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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