Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i've created a new STD.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
