is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Boobs are out for the taking
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
