Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
