Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
