You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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