So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
