My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
