He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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