exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
