Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I got her a Nickelback box set.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
