A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When did angry sex become our thing?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
